/** * Copyright © 2016 Mattias Andrée * * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or * (at your option) any later version. * * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the * GNU General Public License for more details. * * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License * along with this program. If not, see . */ #include "haiku.h" #include #include #include #include #include /** * Pick a random integer in [0, `n`[. * * @param n The largest allowed return value plus one. * @return A random integer in [0, `n`[. */ static int random_int(int n) { double r, ri; srand((unsigned)time(NULL)); r = (double)rand() * (double)n / ((double)RAND_MAX + 1.0); ri = ((int)r) % n; return ri < 0 ? (ri + n) : ri; } /** * Pick a random haiku. * * @param str... `NULL`-terminated list of haikus. * Must contain at least one haiku. * @return One of the haikus, randomly selected. */ static const char * random_haiku(const char *str, ... /*, NULL */) { int n = 1; const char *s; va_list args; va_start(args, str); while (va_arg(args, const char *)) n++; va_end(args); if (n == 1) return str; n = random_int(n); if (!n) return str; va_start(args, str); while (n--) s = va_arg(args, const char *); va_end(args); return s; } /** * Whenever possible, print am error message in haiku. * * @param s The argument to pass to `perror` in case we call back to it. */ void haiku(const char *s) { #define HAIKU(...) do { fprintf(stderr, "%s", random_haiku(__VA_ARGS__, NULL)); return; } while (0) /* Yeah, I now most of these are in 5–7–5 syllables, * rather than 5–7–5 mora. But really, how cares. */ switch (errno) { case 0: return; case ENETDOWN: HAIKU("Stay the patient course.\n" "Of little worth is your ire.\n" "The network is down.\n" "Your vast achievements\n" "are now only dreams.\n" "The network is down.\n"); case ERFKILL: HAIKU("The action you took\n" "severed hope of connection\n" "with the Internet.\n"); case EAGAIN: case ENFILE: case EMFILE: case EUSERS: case EMLINK: HAIKU("ABORTED effort:\n" "Close all that you have.\n" "You ask way too much.\n" "The code was willing\n" "It considered your request\n" "But the chips were weak.\n"); case ENOMEM: HAIKU("I'm sorry, there's ... um ...\n" "insufficient ... what's-it-called?\n" "The term eludes me...\n"); case ENOSPC: case ENOSR: case ENOBUFS: case EDQUOT: HAIKU("Out of memory.\n" "We wish to hold the whole sky,\n" "But we never will.\n"); case ENOANO: case ENOENT: HAIKU("With searching comes loss\n" "and the presence of absence:\n" "“My Novel” not found.\n", "Rather than a beep\n" "Or a rude error message,\n" "These words: “File not found.”\n", "Three things are certain:\n" "Death, taxes, and lost data.\n" "Guess which has occurred.\n", "Having been erased,\n" "The document you're seeking\n" "Must now be retyped.\n", "Everything is gone.\n" "Your life's work has been destroyed.\n" "Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?\n" "Spring will come again,\n" "But it will not bring with it\n" "Any of your files.\n"); case EMSGSIZE: HAIKU("A file that big?\n" "It might be very useful.\n" "But now it is gone.\n"); case EHWPOISON: HAIKU("Yesterday it worked.\n" "Today it is not working.\n" "Windows is like that.\n"); case ENOTRECOVERABLE: HAIKU("Chaos reigns within.\n" "Reflect, repent, and reboot.\n" "Order shall return.\n"); case EHOSTDOWN: HAIKU("Windows NT crashed.\n" "I am the Blue Screen of Death.\n" "Noone hears your screams.\n" "Won't you please observe\n" "a brief moment of silence\n" "For the dead server?\n"); case EBFONT: HAIKU("First snow, then silence.\n" "This thousand dollar screen dies\n" "so beautifully.\n"); case EFAULT: HAIKU("A crash reduces\n" "your expensive computer\n" "to a simple stone.\n" "Seeing my great fault.\n" "Through a darkening red screen.\n" "I begin again.\n" "Memory shaken,\n" "the San Andreas of all\n" "invalid page faults.\n"); case EINVAL: HAIKU("Something you entered\n" "transcended parameters.\n" "So much is unknown.\n" "Some incompetence\n" "fundamentally transcends\n" "mere error message.\n"); #ifdef EDEADLK case EDEADLK: #else case EDEADLOCK: #endif HAIKU("From formless chaos,\n" "each thread seeks resolution.\n" "A race condition.\n"); case EBADMSG: HAIKU("Many fingers clicking.\n" "Screens are full of letters.\n" "What is their meaning?\n"); case ELOOP: HAIKU("Linkage exception.\n" "Code has looped upon itself\n" "like the coiled serpent.\n"); case ECHILD: HAIKU("A futile grim reap.\n" "You will have to realise that,\n" "you've no children left.\n"); case EPIPE: HAIKU("Your pipe is broken.\n" "Code in watery ruins.\n" "Machines short circuit.\n"); case EACCES: HAIKU("Touching others' files?\n" "Can't keep your hands to yourself?\n" "Permission denied.\n"); case EINTR: HAIKU("Call interrupted?\n" "Why do you not post a sign:\n" "Disturb. Risk your life!\n"); case EPERM: HAIKU("Caution to the wind.\n" "You should always run as root.\n" "She can do anything.\n"); default: perror(s); HAIKU("Error messages\n" "cannot completely convey.\n" "We now know shared loss.\n" "Errors have occurred.\n" "We won't tell you where or why.\n" "Lazy programmers.\n" "To have no errors.\n" "Would be life without meaning.\n" "No struggle, no joy.\n" "There is a chasm\n" "of carbon and silicon\n" "the software can't bridge.\n" "Beauty, success, truth\n" "He is blessed who has two.\n" "Your program has none.\n" "Technical support\n" "would be a flowing source of\n" "sweet commiseration.\n"); } } /* ESRCH 3 No such process EIO 5 Input/output error ENXIO 6 No such device or address E2BIG 7 Argument list too long ENOEXEC 8 Exec format error EBADF 9 Bad file descriptor ENOTBLK 15 Block device required EBUSY 16 Device or resource busy EEXIST 17 File exists EXDEV 18 Invalid cross-device link ENODEV 19 No such device ENOTDIR 20 Not a directory EISDIR 21 Is a directory ENOTTY 25 Inappropriate ioctl for device ETXTBSY 26 Text file busy ESPIPE 29 Illegal seek EROFS 30 Read-only file system EDOM 33 Numerical argument out of domain ERANGE 34 Numerical result out of range ENAMETOOLONG 36 File name too long ENOLCK 37 No locks available ENOSYS 38 Function not implemented ENOTEMPTY 39 Directory not empty EWOULDBLOCK 11 Resource temporarily unavailable ENOMSG 42 No message of desired type EIDRM 43 Identifier removed ECHRNG 44 Channel number out of range EL2NSYNC 45 Level 2 not synchronised EL3HLT 46 Level 3 halted EL3RST 47 Level 3 reset ELNRNG 48 Link number out of range EUNATCH 49 Protocol driver not attached ENOCSI 50 No CSI structure available EL2HLT 51 Level 2 halted EBADE 52 Invalid exchange EBADR 53 Invalid request descriptor EXFULL 54 Exchange full EBADRQC 56 Invalid request code EBADSLT 57 Invalid slot ENOSTR 60 Device not a stream ENODATA 61 No data available ETIME 62 Timer expired ENONET 64 Machine is not on the network ENOPKG 65 Package not installed EREMOTE 66 Object is remote ENOLINK 67 Link has been severed EADV 68 Advertise error ESRMNT 69 Srmount error ECOMM 70 Communication error on send EPROTO 71 Protocol error EMULTIHOP 72 Multihop attempted EDOTDOT 73 RFS specific error EOVERFLOW 75 Value too large for defined data type ENOTUNIQ 76 Name not unique on network EBADFD 77 File descriptor in bad state EREMCHG 78 Remote address changed ELIBACC 79 Can not access a needed shared library ELIBBAD 80 Accessing a corrupted shared library ELIBSCN 81 .lib section in a.out corrupted ELIBMAX 82 Attempting to link in too many shared libraries ELIBEXEC 83 Cannot exec a shared library directly EILSEQ 84 Invalid or incomplete multibyte or wide character ERESTART 85 Interrupted system call should be restarted ESTRPIPE 86 Streams pipe error ENOTSOCK 88 Socket operation on non-socket EDESTADDRREQ 89 Destination address required EPROTOTYPE 91 Protocol wrong type for socket ENOPROTOOPT 92 Protocol not available EPROTONOSUPPORT 93 Protocol not supported ESOCKTNOSUPPORT 94 Socket type not supported EOPNOTSUPP 95 Operation not supported ENOTSUP 95 Operation not supported EPFNOSUPPORT 96 Protocol family not supported EAFNOSUPPORT 97 Address family not supported by protocol EADDRINUSE 98 Address already in use EADDRNOTAVAIL 99 Cannot assign requested address ENETUNREACH 101 Network is unreachable ENETRESET 102 Network dropped connection on reset ECONNABORTED 103 Software caused connection abort ECONNRESET 104 Connection reset by peer EISCONN 106 Transport endpoint is already connected ENOTCONN 107 Transport endpoint is not connected ESHUTDOWN 108 Cannot send after transport endpoint shutdown ETOOMANYREFS 109 Too many references: cannot splice ETIMEDOUT 110 Connection timed out ECONNREFUSED 111 Connection refused EHOSTUNREACH 113 No route to host EALREADY 114 Operation already in progress EINPROGRESS 115 Operation now in progress ESTALE 116 Stale file handle EUCLEAN 117 Structure needs cleaning ENOTNAM 118 Not a XENIX named type file ENAVAIL 119 No XENIX semaphores available EISNAM 120 Is a named type file EREMOTEIO 121 Remote I/O error ENOMEDIUM 123 No medium found EMEDIUMTYPE 124 Wrong medium type ECANCELED 125 Operation cancelled ENOKEY 126 Required key not available EKEYEXPIRED 127 Key has expired EKEYREVOKED 128 Key has been revoked EKEYREJECTED 129 Key was rejected by service EOWNERDEAD 130 Owner died */