aboutsummaryrefslogtreecommitdiffstats
path: root/src/haiku.c
diff options
context:
space:
mode:
Diffstat (limited to 'src/haiku.c')
-rw-r--r--src/haiku.c182
1 files changed, 46 insertions, 136 deletions
diff --git a/src/haiku.c b/src/haiku.c
index 25387f4..1accc9f 100644
--- a/src/haiku.c
+++ b/src/haiku.c
@@ -65,14 +65,20 @@ random_haiku(const char *str, ... /*, NULL */)
}
+#if defined(EDEADLOCK) && !defined(EDEADLK)
+# define EDEADLK EDEADLOCK
+#endif
+
+
/**
* Whenever possible, print am error message in haiku.
*
* @param s The argument to pass to `perror` in case we call back to it.
*/
-void haiku(const char *s)
+void
+haiku(const char *s)
{
-#define HAIKU(...) do { fprintf(stderr, "%s", random_haiku(__VA_ARGS__, NULL)); return; } while (0)
+#define H(...) do { fprintf(stderr, "%s", random_haiku(__VA_ARGS__, NULL)); return; } while (0)
/* Yeah, I now most of these are in 5–7–5 syllables,
* rather than 5–7–5 mora. But really, how cares. */
@@ -82,191 +88,95 @@ void haiku(const char *s)
return;
case ENETDOWN:
- HAIKU("Stay the patient course.\n"
- "Of little worth is your ire.\n"
- "The network is down.\n"
-
- "Your vast achievements\n"
- "are now only dreams.\n"
- "The network is down.\n");
+ H("Stay the patient course.\n""Of little worth is your ire.\n""The network is down.\n"
+ "Your vast achievements\n""are now only dreams.\n""The network is down.\n");
case ERFKILL:
- HAIKU("The action you took\n"
- "severed hope of connection\n"
- "with the Internet.\n");
+ H("The action you took\n""severed hope of connection\n""with the Internet.\n");
case EAGAIN:
case ENFILE:
case EMFILE:
case EUSERS:
case EMLINK:
- HAIKU("ABORTED effort:\n"
- "Close all that you have.\n"
- "You ask way too much.\n"
-
- "The code was willing\n"
- "It considered your request\n"
- "But the chips were weak.\n");
+ H("ABORTED effort:\n""Close all that you have.\n""You ask way too much.\n"
+ "The code was willing\n""It considered your request\n""But the chips were weak.\n");
case ENOMEM:
- HAIKU("I'm sorry, there's ... um ...\n"
- "insufficient ... what's-it-called?\n"
- "The term eludes me...\n");
+ H("I'm sorry, there's... um...\n""insufficient... what's-it-called?\n""The term eludes me...\n");
case ENOSPC:
case ENOSR:
case ENOBUFS:
case EDQUOT:
- HAIKU("Out of memory.\n"
- "We wish to hold the whole sky,\n"
- "But we never will.\n");
+ H("Out of memory.\n""We wish to hold the whole sky,\n""But we never will.\n");
case ENOANO:
case ENOENT:
- HAIKU("With searching comes loss\n"
- "and the presence of absence:\n"
- "“My Novel” not found.\n",
-
- "Rather than a beep\n"
- "Or a rude error message,\n"
- "These words: “File not found.”\n",
-
- "Three things are certain:\n"
- "Death, taxes, and lost data.\n"
- "Guess which has occurred.\n",
-
- "Having been erased,\n"
- "The document you're seeking\n"
- "Must now be retyped.\n",
-
- "Everything is gone.\n"
- "Your life's work has been destroyed.\n"
- "Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?\n"
-
- "Spring will come again,\n"
- "But it will not bring with it\n"
- "Any of your files.\n");
+ H("With searching comes loss\n""and the presence of absence:\n""'My Novel' not found.\n",
+ "Rather than a beep\n""Or a rude error message,\n""These words: “File not found.”\n",
+ "Three things are certain:\n""Death, taxes, and lost data.\n""Guess which has occurred.\n",
+ "Having been erased,\n""The document you're seeking\n""Must now be retyped.\n",
+ "Everything is gone.\n""Your life's work has been destroyed.\n""Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?\n"
+ "Spring will come again,\n""But it will not bring with it\n""Any of your files.\n");
case EMSGSIZE:
- HAIKU("A file that big?\n"
- "It might be very useful.\n"
- "But now it is gone.\n");
+ H("A file that big?\n""It might be very useful.\n""But now it is gone.\n");
case EHWPOISON:
- HAIKU("Yesterday it worked.\n"
- "Today it is not working.\n"
- "Windows is like that.\n");
+ H("Yesterday it worked.\n""Today it is not working.\n""Windows is like that.\n");
case ENOTRECOVERABLE:
- HAIKU("Chaos reigns within.\n"
- "Reflect, repent, and reboot.\n"
- "Order shall return.\n");
+ H("Chaos reigns within.\n""Reflect, repent, and reboot.\n""Order shall return.\n");
case EHOSTDOWN:
- HAIKU("Windows NT crashed.\n"
- "I am the Blue Screen of Death.\n"
- "Noone hears your screams.\n"
-
- "Won't you please observe\n"
- "a brief moment of silence\n"
- "For the dead server?\n");
+ H("Windows NT crashed.\n""I am the Blue Screen of Death.\n""Noone hears your screams.\n"
+ "Won't you please observe\n""a brief moment of silence\n""For the dead server?\n");
case EBFONT:
- HAIKU("First snow, then silence.\n"
- "This thousand dollar screen dies\n"
- "so beautifully.\n");
+ H("First snow, then silence.\n""This thousand dollar screen dies\n""so beautifully.\n");
case EFAULT:
- HAIKU("A crash reduces\n"
- "your expensive computer\n"
- "to a simple stone.\n"
-
- "Seeing my great fault.\n"
- "Through a darkening red screen.\n"
- "I begin again.\n"
-
- "Memory shaken,\n"
- "the San Andreas of all\n"
- "invalid page faults.\n");
+ H("A crash reduces\n""your expensive computer\n""to a simple stone.\n"
+ "Seeing my great fault.\n""Through a darkening red screen.\n""I begin again.\n"
+ "Memory shaken,\n""the San Andreas of all\n""invalid page faults.\n");
case EINVAL:
- HAIKU("Something you entered\n"
- "transcended parameters.\n"
- "So much is unknown.\n"
+ H("Something you entered\n""transcended parameters.\n""So much is unknown.\n"
+ "Some incompetence\n""fundamentally transcends\n""mere error message.\n");
- "Some incompetence\n"
- "fundamentally transcends\n"
- "mere error message.\n");
-
-#ifdef EDEADLK
case EDEADLK:
-#else
- case EDEADLOCK:
-#endif
- HAIKU("From formless chaos,\n"
- "each thread seeks resolution.\n"
- "A race condition.\n");
+ H("From formless chaos,\n""each thread seeks resolution.\n""A race condition.\n");
case EBADMSG:
- HAIKU("Many fingers clicking.\n"
- "Screens are full of letters.\n"
- "What is their meaning?\n");
+ H("Many fingers clicking.\n""Screens are full of letters.\n""What is their meaning?\n");
case ELOOP:
- HAIKU("Linkage exception.\n"
- "Code has looped upon itself\n"
- "like the coiled serpent.\n");
+ H("Linkage exception.\n""Code has looped upon itself\n""like the coiled serpent.\n");
case ECHILD:
- HAIKU("A futile grim reap.\n"
- "You will have to realise that,\n"
- "you've no children left.\n");
+ H("A futile grim reap.\n""You will have to realise that,\n""you've no children left.\n");
case EPIPE:
- HAIKU("Your pipe is broken.\n"
- "Code in watery ruins.\n"
- "Machines short circuit.\n");
+ H("Your pipe is broken.\n""Code in watery ruins.\n""Machines short circuit.\n");
case EACCES:
- HAIKU("Touching others' files?\n"
- "Can't keep your hands to yourself?\n"
- "Permission denied.\n");
+ H("Touching others' files?\n""Can't keep your hands to yourself?\n""Permission denied.\n");
case EINTR:
- HAIKU("Call interrupted?\n"
- "Why do you not post a sign:\n"
- "Disturb. Risk your life!\n");
+ H("Call interrupted?\n""Why do you not post a sign:\n""Disturb. Risk your life!\n");
case EPERM:
- HAIKU("Caution to the wind.\n"
- "You should always run as root.\n"
- "She can do anything.\n");
+ H("Caution to the wind.\n""You should always run as root.\n""She can do anything.\n");
default:
perror(s);
- HAIKU("Error messages\n"
- "cannot completely convey.\n"
- "We now know shared loss.\n"
-
- "Errors have occurred.\n"
- "We won't tell you where or why.\n"
- "Lazy programmers.\n"
-
- "To have no errors.\n"
- "Would be life without meaning.\n"
- "No struggle, no joy.\n"
-
- "There is a chasm\n"
- "of carbon and silicon\n"
- "the software can't bridge.\n"
-
- "Beauty, success, truth\n"
- "He is blessed who has two.\n"
- "Your program has none.\n"
-
- "Technical support\n"
- "would be a flowing source of\n"
- "sweet commiseration.\n");
+ H("Error messages\n""cannot completely convey.\n""We now know shared loss.\n"
+ "Errors have occurred.\n""We won't tell you where or why.\n""Lazy programmers.\n"
+ "To have no errors.\n""Would be life without meaning.\n""No struggle, no joy.\n"
+ "There is a chasm\n""of carbon and silicon\n""the software can't bridge.\n"
+ "Beauty, success, truth\n""He is blessed who has two.\n""Your program has none.\n"
+ "Technical support\n""would be a flowing source of\n""sweet commiseration.\n");
}
}