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Diffstat (limited to '')
| -rw-r--r-- | src/haiku.c | 289 |
1 files changed, 0 insertions, 289 deletions
diff --git a/src/haiku.c b/src/haiku.c deleted file mode 100644 index 1accc9f..0000000 --- a/src/haiku.c +++ /dev/null @@ -1,289 +0,0 @@ -/** - * Copyright © 2016 Mattias Andrée <maandree@member.fsf.org> - * - * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify - * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by - * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or - * (at your option) any later version. - * - * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, - * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of - * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the - * GNU General Public License for more details. - * - * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License - * along with this program. If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. - */ -#include "haiku.h" -#include <stdio.h> -#include <errno.h> -#include <stdlib.h> -#include <time.h> -#include <stdarg.h> - - - -/** - * Pick a random integer in [0, `n`[. - * - * @param n The largest allowed return value plus one. - * @return A random integer in [0, `n`[. - */ -static int -random_int(int n) -{ - double r, ri; - srand((unsigned)time(NULL)); - r = (double)rand() * (double)n / ((double)RAND_MAX + 1.0); - ri = ((int)r) % n; - return ri < 0 ? (ri + n) : ri; -} - - -/** - * Pick a random haiku. - * - * @param str... `NULL`-terminated list of haikus. - * Must contain at least one haiku. - * @return One of the haikus, randomly selected. - */ -static const char * -random_haiku(const char *str, ... /*, NULL */) -{ - int n = 1; - const char *s = str; - va_list args; - va_start(args, str); - while (va_arg(args, const char *)) n++; - va_end(args); - if (n == 1) return str; - n = random_int(n); - va_start(args, str); - while (n--) s = va_arg(args, const char *); - va_end(args); - return s; -} - - -#if defined(EDEADLOCK) && !defined(EDEADLK) -# define EDEADLK EDEADLOCK -#endif - - -/** - * Whenever possible, print am error message in haiku. - * - * @param s The argument to pass to `perror` in case we call back to it. - */ -void -haiku(const char *s) -{ -#define H(...) do { fprintf(stderr, "%s", random_haiku(__VA_ARGS__, NULL)); return; } while (0) - - /* Yeah, I now most of these are in 5–7–5 syllables, - * rather than 5–7–5 mora. But really, how cares. */ - - switch (errno) { - case 0: - return; - - case ENETDOWN: - H("Stay the patient course.\n""Of little worth is your ire.\n""The network is down.\n" - "Your vast achievements\n""are now only dreams.\n""The network is down.\n"); - - case ERFKILL: - H("The action you took\n""severed hope of connection\n""with the Internet.\n"); - - case EAGAIN: - case ENFILE: - case EMFILE: - case EUSERS: - case EMLINK: - H("ABORTED effort:\n""Close all that you have.\n""You ask way too much.\n" - "The code was willing\n""It considered your request\n""But the chips were weak.\n"); - - case ENOMEM: - H("I'm sorry, there's... um...\n""insufficient... what's-it-called?\n""The term eludes me...\n"); - - case ENOSPC: - case ENOSR: - case ENOBUFS: - case EDQUOT: - H("Out of memory.\n""We wish to hold the whole sky,\n""But we never will.\n"); - - case ENOANO: - case ENOENT: - H("With searching comes loss\n""and the presence of absence:\n""'My Novel' not found.\n", - "Rather than a beep\n""Or a rude error message,\n""These words: “File not found.”\n", - "Three things are certain:\n""Death, taxes, and lost data.\n""Guess which has occurred.\n", - "Having been erased,\n""The document you're seeking\n""Must now be retyped.\n", - "Everything is gone.\n""Your life's work has been destroyed.\n""Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?\n" - "Spring will come again,\n""But it will not bring with it\n""Any of your files.\n"); - - case EMSGSIZE: - H("A file that big?\n""It might be very useful.\n""But now it is gone.\n"); - - case EHWPOISON: - H("Yesterday it worked.\n""Today it is not working.\n""Windows is like that.\n"); - - case ENOTRECOVERABLE: - H("Chaos reigns within.\n""Reflect, repent, and reboot.\n""Order shall return.\n"); - - case EHOSTDOWN: - H("Windows NT crashed.\n""I am the Blue Screen of Death.\n""Noone hears your screams.\n" - "Won't you please observe\n""a brief moment of silence\n""For the dead server?\n"); - - case EBFONT: - H("First snow, then silence.\n""This thousand dollar screen dies\n""so beautifully.\n"); - - case EFAULT: - H("A crash reduces\n""your expensive computer\n""to a simple stone.\n" - "Seeing my great fault.\n""Through a darkening red screen.\n""I begin again.\n" - "Memory shaken,\n""the San Andreas of all\n""invalid page faults.\n"); - - case EINVAL: - H("Something you entered\n""transcended parameters.\n""So much is unknown.\n" - "Some incompetence\n""fundamentally transcends\n""mere error message.\n"); - - case EDEADLK: - H("From formless chaos,\n""each thread seeks resolution.\n""A race condition.\n"); - - case EBADMSG: - H("Many fingers clicking.\n""Screens are full of letters.\n""What is their meaning?\n"); - - case ELOOP: - H("Linkage exception.\n""Code has looped upon itself\n""like the coiled serpent.\n"); - - case ECHILD: - H("A futile grim reap.\n""You will have to realise that,\n""you've no children left.\n"); - - case EPIPE: - H("Your pipe is broken.\n""Code in watery ruins.\n""Machines short circuit.\n"); - - case EACCES: - H("Touching others' files?\n""Can't keep your hands to yourself?\n""Permission denied.\n"); - - case EINTR: - H("Call interrupted?\n""Why do you not post a sign:\n""Disturb. Risk your life!\n"); - - case EPERM: - H("Caution to the wind.\n""You should always run as root.\n""She can do anything.\n"); - - default: - perror(s); - H("Error messages\n""cannot completely convey.\n""We now know shared loss.\n" - "Errors have occurred.\n""We won't tell you where or why.\n""Lazy programmers.\n" - "To have no errors.\n""Would be life without meaning.\n""No struggle, no joy.\n" - "There is a chasm\n""of carbon and silicon\n""the software can't bridge.\n" - "Beauty, success, truth\n""He is blessed who has two.\n""Your program has none.\n" - "Technical support\n""would be a flowing source of\n""sweet commiseration.\n"); - } -} - - -/* -ESRCH 3 No such process -EIO 5 Input/output error -ENXIO 6 No such device or address -E2BIG 7 Argument list too long -ENOEXEC 8 Exec format error -EBADF 9 Bad file descriptor -ENOTBLK 15 Block device required -EBUSY 16 Device or resource busy -EEXIST 17 File exists -EXDEV 18 Invalid cross-device link -ENODEV 19 No such device -ENOTDIR 20 Not a directory -EISDIR 21 Is a directory -ENOTTY 25 Inappropriate ioctl for device -ETXTBSY 26 Text file busy -ESPIPE 29 Illegal seek -EROFS 30 Read-only file system -EDOM 33 Numerical argument out of domain -ERANGE 34 Numerical result out of range -ENAMETOOLONG 36 File name too long -ENOLCK 37 No locks available -ENOSYS 38 Function not implemented -ENOTEMPTY 39 Directory not empty -EWOULDBLOCK 11 Resource temporarily unavailable -ENOMSG 42 No message of desired type -EIDRM 43 Identifier removed -ECHRNG 44 Channel number out of range -EL2NSYNC 45 Level 2 not synchronised -EL3HLT 46 Level 3 halted -EL3RST 47 Level 3 reset -ELNRNG 48 Link number out of range -EUNATCH 49 Protocol driver not attached -ENOCSI 50 No CSI structure available -EL2HLT 51 Level 2 halted -EBADE 52 Invalid exchange -EBADR 53 Invalid request descriptor -EXFULL 54 Exchange full -EBADRQC 56 Invalid request code -EBADSLT 57 Invalid slot -ENOSTR 60 Device not a stream -ENODATA 61 No data available -ETIME 62 Timer expired -ENONET 64 Machine is not on the network -ENOPKG 65 Package not installed -EREMOTE 66 Object is remote -ENOLINK 67 Link has been severed -EADV 68 Advertise error -ESRMNT 69 Srmount error -ECOMM 70 Communication error on send -EPROTO 71 Protocol error -EMULTIHOP 72 Multihop attempted -EDOTDOT 73 RFS specific error -EOVERFLOW 75 Value too large for defined data type -ENOTUNIQ 76 Name not unique on network -EBADFD 77 File descriptor in bad state -EREMCHG 78 Remote address changed -ELIBACC 79 Can not access a needed shared library -ELIBBAD 80 Accessing a corrupted shared library -ELIBSCN 81 .lib section in a.out corrupted -ELIBMAX 82 Attempting to link in too many shared libraries -ELIBEXEC 83 Cannot exec a shared library directly -EILSEQ 84 Invalid or incomplete multibyte or wide character -ERESTART 85 Interrupted system call should be restarted -ESTRPIPE 86 Streams pipe error -ENOTSOCK 88 Socket operation on non-socket -EDESTADDRREQ 89 Destination address required -EPROTOTYPE 91 Protocol wrong type for socket -ENOPROTOOPT 92 Protocol not available -EPROTONOSUPPORT 93 Protocol not supported -ESOCKTNOSUPPORT 94 Socket type not supported -EOPNOTSUPP 95 Operation not supported -ENOTSUP 95 Operation not supported -EPFNOSUPPORT 96 Protocol family not supported -EAFNOSUPPORT 97 Address family not supported by protocol -EADDRINUSE 98 Address already in use -EADDRNOTAVAIL 99 Cannot assign requested address -ENETUNREACH 101 Network is unreachable -ENETRESET 102 Network dropped connection on reset -ECONNABORTED 103 Software caused connection abort -ECONNRESET 104 Connection reset by peer -EISCONN 106 Transport endpoint is already connected -ENOTCONN 107 Transport endpoint is not connected -ESHUTDOWN 108 Cannot send after transport endpoint shutdown -ETOOMANYREFS 109 Too many references: cannot splice -ETIMEDOUT 110 Connection timed out -ECONNREFUSED 111 Connection refused -EHOSTUNREACH 113 No route to host -EALREADY 114 Operation already in progress -EINPROGRESS 115 Operation now in progress -ESTALE 116 Stale file handle -EUCLEAN 117 Structure needs cleaning -ENOTNAM 118 Not a XENIX named type file -ENAVAIL 119 No XENIX semaphores available -EISNAM 120 Is a named type file -EREMOTEIO 121 Remote I/O error -ENOMEDIUM 123 No medium found -EMEDIUMTYPE 124 Wrong medium type -ECANCELED 125 Operation cancelled -ENOKEY 126 Required key not available -EKEYEXPIRED 127 Key has expired -EKEYREVOKED 128 Key has been revoked -EKEYREJECTED 129 Key was rejected by service -EOWNERDEAD 130 Owner died -*/ - |