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Diffstat (limited to 'src/libhaiku.c')
| -rw-r--r-- | src/libhaiku.c | 356 |
1 files changed, 356 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/src/libhaiku.c b/src/libhaiku.c new file mode 100644 index 0000000..11d477c --- /dev/null +++ b/src/libhaiku.c @@ -0,0 +1,356 @@ +/** + * Copyright © 2016 Mattias Andrée <maandree@member.fsf.org> + * + * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify + * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by + * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or + * (at your option) any later version. + * + * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, + * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of + * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the + * GNU General Public License for more details. + * + * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License + * along with this program. If not, see <http://www.gnu.org/licenses/>. + */ +#include "haiku.h" +#include <stdio.h> +#include <errno.h> +#include <stdlib.h> +#include <time.h> +#include <stdarg.h> + + + +/* Synonyms. */ +#if defined(EDEADLOCK) && !defined(EDEADLK) +# define EDEADLK EDEADLOCK +#endif +#if defined(EOPNOTSUPP) && !defined(ENOTSUP) +# define ENOTSUP EOPNOTSUPP +#endif + + + +/** + * Pick a random integer in [0, `n`[. + * + * @param n The largest allowed return value plus one. + * @return A random integer in [0, `n`[. + */ +static int random_int(int n) +{ + double r, ri; + srand((unsigned)time(NULL)); + r = (double)rand() * (double)n / ((double)RAND_MAX + 1.0); + ri = ((int)r) % n; + return ri < 0 ? (ri + n) : ri; +} + + +/** + * Pick a random haiku. + * + * @param str... `NULL`-terminated list of haikus. + * Must contain at least one haiku. + * @return One of the haikus, randomly selected. + */ +#ifdef __GNUC__ +__attribute__((__sentinel__)) +#endif +static const char * random_haiku(const char *str, ... /*, NULL */) +{ + int n = 1; + const char *s = str; + va_list args; + + va_start(args, str); + while (va_arg(args, const char *)) n++; + va_end(args); + + if (n == 1) return str; + n = random_int(n); + + va_start(args, str); + while (n--) s = va_arg(args, const char *); + va_end(args); + return s; +} + + + +/** + * Whenever possible, print am error message in haiku. + * + * Nothing is printed if `errno` is 0. + * + * @param s The argument to pass to `perror` in case we call back to it. + * `NULL` if you never what `perror` to be used. + */ +void +haiku(const char *s) +{ +#define H(...) do { fprintf(stderr, "%s", random_haiku(__VA_ARGS__, NULL)); return; } while (0) + + /* Yeah, I now most of these are in 5–7–5 syllables, + * rather than 5–7–5 mora. But really, how cares. */ + + switch (errno) + { + case 0: + return; + +#ifdef ENETDOWN + case ENETDOWN: + H("Stay the patient course.\n""Of little worth is your ire.\n""The network is down.\n" + "Your vast achievements\n""are now only dreams.\n""The network is down.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ERFKILL + case ERFKILL: + H("The action you took\n""severed hope of connection\n""with the Internet.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EAGAIN + case EAGAIN: +#endif +#ifdef ENFILE + case ENFILE: +#endif +#ifdef EMFILE + case EMFILE: +#endif +#ifdef EUSERS + case EUSERS: +#endif +#ifdef EMLINK + case EMLINK: +#endif +#if defined(EAGAIN) || defined(ENFILE) || defined(EMFILE) || defined(EUSERS) || defined(EMLINK) + H("ABORTED effort:\n""Close all that you have.\n""You ask way too much.\n" + "The code was willing\n""It considered your request\n""But the chips were weak.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ENOMEM + case ENOMEM: + H("I'm sorry, there's... um...\n""insufficient... what's-it-called?\n""The term eludes me...\n"); +#endif + + case ENOSPC: + case ENOSR: + case ENOBUFS: + case EDQUOT: + H("Out of memory.\n""We wish to hold the whole sky,\n""But we never will.\n"); + +#ifdef ENOANO + case ENOANO: +#endif +#ifdef ENOENT + case ENOENT: +#endif +#if defined(ENOANO) || defined(ENOENT) + H("With searching comes loss\n""and the presence of absence:\n""'My Novel' not found.\n", + "Rather than a beep\n""Or a rude error message,\n""These words: “File not found.”\n", + "Three things are certain:\n""Death, taxes, and lost data.\n""Guess which has occurred.\n", + "Having been erased,\n""The document you're seeking\n""Must now be retyped.\n", + "Everything is gone.\n""Your life's work has been destroyed.\n""Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?\n" + "Spring will come again,\n""But it will not bring with it\n""Any of your files.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EMSGSIZE + case EMSGSIZE: + H("A file that big?\n""It might be very useful.\n""But now it is gone.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EHWPOISON + case EHWPOISON: + H("Yesterday it worked.\n""Today it is not working.\n""Windows is like that.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ENOTRECOVERABLE + case ENOTRECOVERABLE: + H("Chaos reigns within.\n""Reflect, repent, and reboot.\n""Order shall return.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EHOSTDOWN + case EHOSTDOWN: + H("Windows NT crashed.\n""I am the Blue Screen of Death.\n""Noone hears your screams.\n" + "Won't you please observe\n""a brief moment of silence\n""For the dead server?\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EBFONT + case EBFONT: + H("First snow, then silence.\n""This thousand dollar screen dies\n""so beautifully.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EFAULT + case EFAULT: + H("A crash reduces\n""your expensive computer\n""to a simple stone.\n" + "Seeing my great fault.\n""Through a darkening red screen.\n""I begin again.\n" + "Memory shaken,\n""the San Andreas of all\n""invalid page faults.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EINVAL + case EINVAL: + H("Something you entered\n""transcended parameters.\n""So much is unknown.\n" + "Some incompetence\n""fundamentally transcends\n""mere error message.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EDEADLK + case EDEADLK: + H("From formless chaos,\n""each thread seeks resolution.\n""A race condition.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EBADMSG + case EBADMSG: + H("Many fingers clicking.\n""Screens are full of letters.\n""What is their meaning?\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ELOOP + case ELOOP: + H("Linkage exception.\n""Code has looped upon itself\n""like the coiled serpent.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ECHILD + case ECHILD: + H("A futile, grim reap.\n""You will have to realise that,\n""you've no children left.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EPIPE + case EPIPE: + H("Your pipe is broken.\n""Code in watery ruins.\n""Machines short circuit.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EACCES + case EACCES: + H("Touching others' files?\n""Can't keep your hands to yourself?\n""Permission denied.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EINTR + case EINTR: + H("Call interrupted?\n""Why do you not post a sign:\n""Disturb. Risk your life!\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EPERM + case EPERM: + H("Caution to the wind.\n""You should always run as root.\n""She can do anything.\n"); +#endif + + default: + if (s) perror(s); + H("Error messages\n""cannot completely convey.\n""We now know shared loss.\n" + "Errors have occurred.\n""We won't tell you where or why.\n""Lazy programmers.\n" + "To have no errors.\n""Would be life without meaning.\n""No struggle, no joy.\n" + "There is a chasm\n""of carbon and silicon\n""the software can't bridge.\n" + "Beauty, success, truth\n""He is blessed who has two.\n""Your program has none.\n" + "Technical support\n""would be a flowing source of\n""sweet commiseration.\n"); + } +} + + +/* +ESRCH 3 No such process +EIO 5 Input/output error +ENXIO 6 No such device or address +E2BIG 7 Argument list too long +ENOEXEC 8 Exec format error +EBADF 9 Bad file descriptor +ENOTBLK 15 Block device required +EBUSY 16 Device or resource busy +EEXIST 17 File exists +EXDEV 18 Invalid cross-device link +ENODEV 19 No such device +ENOTDIR 20 Not a directory +EISDIR 21 Is a directory +ENOTTY 25 Inappropriate ioctl for device +ETXTBSY 26 Text file busy +ESPIPE 29 Illegal seek +EROFS 30 Read-only file system +EDOM 33 Numerical argument out of domain +ERANGE 34 Numerical result out of range +ENAMETOOLONG 36 File name too long +ENOLCK 37 No locks available +ENOSYS 38 Function not implemented +ENOTEMPTY 39 Directory not empty +EWOULDBLOCK 11 Resource temporarily unavailable +ENOMSG 42 No message of desired type +EIDRM 43 Identifier removed +ECHRNG 44 Channel number out of range +EL2NSYNC 45 Level 2 not synchronised +EL3HLT 46 Level 3 halted +EL3RST 47 Level 3 reset +ELNRNG 48 Link number out of range +EUNATCH 49 Protocol driver not attached +ENOCSI 50 No CSI structure available +EL2HLT 51 Level 2 halted +EBADE 52 Invalid exchange +EBADR 53 Invalid request descriptor +EXFULL 54 Exchange full +EBADRQC 56 Invalid request code +EBADSLT 57 Invalid slot +ENOSTR 60 Device not a stream +ENODATA 61 No data available +ETIME 62 Timer expired +ENONET 64 Machine is not on the network +ENOPKG 65 Package not installed +EREMOTE 66 Object is remote +ENOLINK 67 Link has been severed +EADV 68 Advertise error +ESRMNT 69 Srmount error +ECOMM 70 Communication error on send +EPROTO 71 Protocol error +EMULTIHOP 72 Multihop attempted +EDOTDOT 73 RFS specific error +EOVERFLOW 75 Value too large for defined data type +ENOTUNIQ 76 Name not unique on network +EBADFD 77 File descriptor in bad state +EREMCHG 78 Remote address changed +ELIBACC 79 Can not access a needed shared library +ELIBBAD 80 Accessing a corrupted shared library +ELIBSCN 81 .lib section in a.out corrupted +ELIBMAX 82 Attempting to link in too many shared libraries +ELIBEXEC 83 Cannot exec a shared library directly +EILSEQ 84 Invalid or incomplete multibyte or wide character +ERESTART 85 Interrupted system call should be restarted +ESTRPIPE 86 Streams pipe error +ENOTSOCK 88 Socket operation on non-socket +EDESTADDRREQ 89 Destination address required +EPROTOTYPE 91 Protocol wrong type for socket +ENOPROTOOPT 92 Protocol not available +EPROTONOSUPPORT 93 Protocol not supported +ESOCKTNOSUPPORT 94 Socket type not supported +ENOTSUP 95 Operation not supported +EPFNOSUPPORT 96 Protocol family not supported +EAFNOSUPPORT 97 Address family not supported by protocol +EADDRINUSE 98 Address already in use +EADDRNOTAVAIL 99 Cannot assign requested address +ENETUNREACH 101 Network is unreachable +ENETRESET 102 Network dropped connection on reset +ECONNABORTED 103 Software caused connection abort +ECONNRESET 104 Connection reset by peer +EISCONN 106 Transport endpoint is already connected +ENOTCONN 107 Transport endpoint is not connected +ESHUTDOWN 108 Cannot send after transport endpoint shutdown +ETOOMANYREFS 109 Too many references: cannot splice +ETIMEDOUT 110 Connection timed out +ECONNREFUSED 111 Connection refused +EHOSTUNREACH 113 No route to host +EALREADY 114 Operation already in progress +EINPROGRESS 115 Operation now in progress +ESTALE 116 Stale file handle +EUCLEAN 117 Structure needs cleaning +ENOTNAM 118 Not a XENIX named type file +ENAVAIL 119 No XENIX semaphores available +EISNAM 120 Is a named type file +EREMOTEIO 121 Remote I/O error +ENOMEDIUM 123 No medium found +EMEDIUMTYPE 124 Wrong medium type +ECANCELED 125 Operation cancelled +ENOKEY 126 Required key not available +EKEYEXPIRED 127 Key has expired +EKEYREVOKED 128 Key has been revoked +EKEYREJECTED 129 Key was rejected by service +EOWNERDEAD 130 Owner died +*/ + |