diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'libhaiku.c')
| -rw-r--r-- | libhaiku.c | 310 |
1 files changed, 310 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/libhaiku.c b/libhaiku.c new file mode 100644 index 0000000..04b94a9 --- /dev/null +++ b/libhaiku.c @@ -0,0 +1,310 @@ +/* See LICENSE file for copyright and license details. */ +#include "libhaiku.h" +#include <errno.h> +#include <stdarg.h> +#include <stdio.h> +#include <stdlib.h> +#include <string.h> +#include <time.h> + + +#define H(...) return random_haiku(__VA_ARGS__, NULL) + + +/* Synonyms. */ +#if defined(EDEADLOCK) && !defined(EDEADLK) +# define EDEADLK EDEADLOCK +#endif +#if defined(EOPNOTSUPP) && !defined(ENOTSUP) +# define ENOTSUP EOPNOTSUPP +#endif + + + +/** + * Pick a random integer in [0, `n`[ + * + * @param n The largest allowed return value plus one + * @return A random integer in [0, `n`[ + */ +static int +random_int(int n) +{ + static int initialised = 0; + double r, ri; + if (!initialised) { + srand((unsigned)time(NULL)); + initialised = 1; + } + r = (double)rand() * (double)n / ((double)RAND_MAX + 1.0); + ri = ((int)r) % n; + return ri < 0 ? (ri + n) : ri; +} + + +/** + * Pick a random haiku + * + * @param str... `NULL`-terminated list of haiku + * Must contain at least one haiku + * @return One of the haiku, randomly selected + */ +#ifdef __GNUC__ +__attribute__((__sentinel__)) +#endif +static const char * +random_haiku(const char *str, ... /*, NULL */) +{ + int n = 1; + const char *s = str; + va_list args; + + va_start(args, str); + while (va_arg(args, const char *)) + n++; + va_end(args); + + if (n == 1) + return str; + n = random_int(n); + + va_start(args, str); + while (n--) + s = va_arg(args, const char *); + va_end(args); + return s; +} + + +/** + * Get a random generic poetic error message + * + * @return A random generic poetic error message + */ +const char * +libhaiku_generic(void) +{ + H("Error messages\n""cannot completely convey.\n""We now know shared loss.\n", + "Errors have occurred.\n""We won't tell you where or why.\n""Lazy programmers.\n", + "To have no errors.\n""Would be life without meaning.\n""No struggle, no joy.\n", + "There is a chasm\n""of carbon and silicon\n""the software can't bridge.\n", + "Beauty, success, truth\n""He is blessed who has two.\n""Your program has none.\n", + "Technical support\n""would be a flowing source of\n""sweet commiseration.\n"); +} + + +/** + * Get a poetic error message + * + * @param errnum `errno` value that the error message shall be selected for + * @param genericp Unless `NULL`, will be set to 1 if the function didn't have + * any haikus specific the the specified error, and had to + * return a generic haiku, and to 0 otherwise + * @return A poetic error message + */ +const char * +libhaiku_strerror(int errnum, int *genericp) +{ + if (genericp) + *genericp = 0; + + switch (errnum) { +#ifdef ENETDOWN + case ENETDOWN: + H("Stay the patient course.\n""Of little worth is your ire.\n""The network is down.\n", + "Your vast achievements\n""are now only dreams.\n""The network is down.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ERFKILL + case ERFKILL: + H("The action you took\n""severed hope of connection\n""with the Internet.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EAGAIN + case EAGAIN: +#endif +#ifdef ENFILE + case ENFILE: +#endif +#ifdef EMFILE + case EMFILE: +#endif +#ifdef EUSERS + case EUSERS: +#endif +#ifdef EMLINK + case EMLINK: +#endif +#if defined(EAGAIN) || defined(ENFILE) || defined(EMFILE) || defined(EUSERS) || defined(EMLINK) + H("ABORTED effort:\n""Close all that you have.\n""You ask way too much.\n", + "The code was willing\n""It considered your request\n""But the chips were weak.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ENOMEM + case ENOMEM: + H("I'm sorry, there's... um...\n""insufficient... what's-it-called?\n""The term eludes me...\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ENOSPC + case ENOSPC: +#endif +#ifdef ENOSR + case ENOSR: +#endif +#ifdef ENOBUFS + case ENOBUFS: +#endif +#ifdef EDQUOT + case EDQUOT: +#endif +#if defined(ENOSPC) || defined(ENOSR) || defined(ENOBUFS) || defined(EDQUOT) + H("Out of memory.\n""We wish to hold the whole sky,\n""But we never will.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ENOANO + case ENOANO: +#endif +#ifdef ENOENT + case ENOENT: +#endif +#if defined(ENOANO) || defined(ENOENT) + H("With searching comes loss\n""and the presence of absence:\n""'My Novel' not found.\n", + "Rather than a beep\n""Or a rude error message,\n""These words: “File not found.”\n", + "Three things are certain:\n""Death, taxes, and lost data.\n""Guess which has occurred.\n", + "Having been erased,\n""The document you're seeking\n""Must now be retyped.\n", + "Everything is gone.\n""Your life's work has been destroyed.\n""Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?\n", + "Spring will come again,\n""But it will not bring with it\n""Any of your files.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EOWNERDEAD + case EOWNERDEAD: /* Reusing haiku from ENOENT. */ + H("Three things are certain:\n""Death, taxes, and lost data.\n""Guess which has occurred.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EMSGSIZE + case EMSGSIZE: + H("A file that big?\n""It might be very useful.\n""But now it is gone.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EHWPOISON + case EHWPOISON: + H("Yesterday it worked.\n""Today it is not working.\n""Windows is like that.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EUCLEAN + case EUCLEAN: +#endif +#ifdef ENOTRECOVERABLE + case ENOTRECOVERABLE: +#endif +#if defined(EUCLEAN) || defined(ENOTRECOVERABLE) + H("Chaos reigns within.\n""Reflect, repent, and reboot.\n""Order shall return.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EHOSTDOWN + case EHOSTDOWN: + H("Windows NT crashed.\n""I am the Blue Screen of Death.\n""Noone hears your screams.\n", + "Won't you please observe\n""a brief moment of silence\n""For the dead server?\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EBFONT + case EBFONT: + H("First snow, then silence.\n""This thousand dollar screen dies\n""so beautifully.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EFAULT + case EFAULT: + H("A crash reduces\n""your expensive computer\n""to a simple stone.\n", + "Seeing my great fault.\n""Through a darkening red screen.\n""I begin again.\n", + "Memory shaken,\n""the San Andreas of all\n""invalid page faults.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EINVAL + case EINVAL: + H("Something you entered\n""transcended parameters.\n""So much is unknown.\n", + "Some incompetence\n""fundamentally transcends\n""mere error message.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EDEADLK + case EDEADLK: + H("From formless chaos,\n""each thread seeks resolution.\n""A race condition.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EBADMSG + case EBADMSG: + H("Many fingers clicking.\n""Screens are full of letters.\n""What is their meaning?\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ELOOP + case ELOOP: + H("Linkage exception.\n""Code has looped upon itself\n""like the coiled serpent.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef ECHILD + case ECHILD: + H("A futile, grim reap.\n""You will have to realise that,\n""you've no children left.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EPIPE + case EPIPE: + H("Your pipe is broken.\n""Code in watery ruins.\n""Machines short circuit.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EACCES + case EACCES: + H("Touching others' files?\n""Can't keep your hands to yourself?\n""Permission denied.\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EINTR + case EINTR: + H("Call interrupted?\n""Why do you not post a sign:\n""Disturb. Risk your life!\n"); +#endif + +#ifdef EPERM + case EPERM: + H("Caution to the wind.\n""You should always run as root.\n""She can do anything.\n"); +#endif + + default: + if (genericp) + *genericp = 1; + return libhaiku_generic(); + } +} + + +/** + * Print a poetic error message + * + * @param prefix Unless `NULL` or empty, each line will be prefixed + * by the specified string followed by a colon and a space + * @param errnum `errno` value that the error message shall be selected for; + * if negative, a generic error message is printed + */ +void +libhaiku_perror2(const char *prefix, int errnum) +{ + const char *line1, *line2, *line3; + int len1, len2; + + line1 = libhaiku_strerror(errnum, NULL); + + if (prefix && *prefix) { + line2 = &strchr(line1, '\n')[1]; + line3 = &strchr(line2, '\n')[1]; + len1 = (int)(line2 - line1); + len2 = (int)(line3 - line2); + fprintf(stderr, "%s: %.*s%s: %.*s%s: %s", prefix, len1, line1, prefix, len2, line2, prefix, line3); + } else { + fprintf(stderr, "%s", line1); + } +} + + +/** + * Print a poetic error message + * + * @param prefix Unless `NULL` or empty, each line will be prefixed + * by the specified string followed by a colon and a space + */ +extern void libhaiku_perror(const char *prefix); |